My Hands

One of the symptoms of RA is joint pain, swelling, and stiffness.  The joints also may lose their range of motion and become deformed.  Such is the case with many of my joints.  Especially my hands.

Photo Credit: P&G Photography

I like how the University of Michigan describes how RA affects hands:

“RA causes swelling and deformity of the wrist and fingers. The swollen tissue may destroy the ligaments that hold the joints together, and damage cartilage and bone. These deformities can interfere with hand function. The swollen tissue can damage tendons, causing them to rupture. If a tendon ruptures, you may not be able to bend or straighten your finger...

Generally, the first and most common complaint is swelling of the hand at the knuckles, that gives the fingers a spindle shape. This swelling often happens in the wrist and the large knuckles in the middle of the hand. The swollen tissue may destroy the ligaments that hold the joints together, and damage cartilage and bone. This can result in certain deformities. The wrist may turn toward the thumb side of the hand, causing "ulnar drift" of the fingers. The swollen tissue may also produce damage, causing the tendons to rupture. When the tendon ruptures, you may not be able to bend or straighten your finger. Other problems that may happen are swelling that causes pressure on the nerves (carpal tunnel syndrome), or lumps (rheumatoid nodules) found over various joints of the hand and elbow.” 

Photo Credit: US National Library of Medicine

News flash: humans rely on their hands to perform many basic daily tasks.  How am I supposed to live independently if my hands are achy and deformed?  Thankfully, even though my hands show signs of deformation, I can still do many daily tasks by myself.

Things I can do:

Type on a keyboard so I can write posts on my blog.

Pick up small toys from the floor.

Style my hair.

Push buttons on my phone.

Things that are very difficult to do:

Crafty things such as crocheting or cross-stitch (which I really love to do!)

Button clothes.

Use a knife in the kitchen.

Trim my nails.

  

Things I can no longer do:

Shoot handguns - the last time I did, it was fine while shooting, but a few hours later, my hands ached terribly and I said, no more handguns.

Open tight jars.

Pitch a bowling ball – It’s actually quite funny to watch me bowl.  I have to get a special light ball usually reserved for children, and I carry the ball in both hands and kind of granny toss it down the lane.  I can turn around, walk back to where everyone else is watching, sit down on the bench, and still watch my ball arrive at other end of the lane to (hopefully) knock down a few pins.

We have had a couple of photo shoots with my amazing friend, Greg Mauger of P&G Photography.  In the beginning, I was extremely self-conscious about my hands.  I don't know why.  No, I do know why.  I didn't want to look back at these photos and have yet another reminder of my pain.  I didn't want to have to answer questions of what's wrong with me.  I just wanted to see love and beauty.  Well, he came through.  He captured some stunning images, despite my awkward and deformed hands.   

Photo Credit: P&G Photography

 

Photo Credit: P&G Photography

 Big thanks to Greg for the gorgeous photos.

One of the most important things I can do that I didn’t list above, is I Can Pick Up And Cuddle My Children!  There have been many days where it has been difficult to do this, but I am happy to push through the pain so I can have tender moments with my kids.  They are young and don’t understand Mommy’s pain.  And I don’t expect them to.  I just want them to understand that I love them with all of my heart (and hands). 

Photo Credit: P&G Photography

 

 Riley