"Ah-Ha"

I was thinking about the first moment after surgeries when I realized that life was truly getting better.  It wasn’t the day that I took a first step on my new knee implant.  It wasn’t the day I went home from the hospital.  It definitely wasn’t the first day of physical therapy.

My first “ah-ha” moment when I knew that life was getting better, was on a Sunday at church.  I belong to a church that, one Sunday a month, members of the congregation are invited to come up to the pulpit and say a few words (or testimony) of Jesus Christ, an inspirational thought, or other inspirational church related stories or incidents.  I remember arriving at church with my walker and sitting alone on a bench.  They opened up the time to the congregation to come up.  I didn’t know I was going to get up, but I had a feeling that I should go up and say a few words about how well things were going and how I was able to see the positives through this trial.  I started to slide over toward the aisle.  For a moment, I thought about taking the walker, but it seemed like it would be more of a pain to get it out and maneuver around everything, so I just stood up and walked toward the front of the room.  As soon as I started walking toward the front of the room where the pulpit was, I started to cry.  There were a couple of steps to get up to the microphone, and by the time I conquered those, the tears were flowing and I was barely able to speak.  It had been so long since I was able to do anything like that.  I had walked without the aid of crutches, and relatively pain free for about 25 feet, and truthfully, it felt like I weighed nothing.  All I could say at first was, “I made it!”

After a few moments, I was able to get calmed down and I said a few words about how blessed I felt because of the success of my surgeries and urged people to see the good in their lives and not be blinded by the small trials in life.  Yes, I said small trials.  To me, the physical pain was a small trial.  The emotional pain was, and is, the big trial. 

Yes, I still have pain.  Even after 5 surgeries to fix damage caused by RA, there is still a lot of pain.  RA is a non-discrimination disease.  It doesn’t limit damage to one or two joints.  It’s everywhere in my body.  And not just my joints. 

Even though I still have a lot of pain, I am at a point in my life where I can see many positives and I’m not blinded by the few negatives I am facing.  At least I’m trying really hard to not be blinded by them.  The negative mind is a tough foe to conquer.  But with the help of Jesus Christ, I have been able to see the progress that I have been trying so hard to achieve.

I would urge you to turn to God through your trials, whatever they may be, and he will help you through.

Riley